This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless. Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus. I Timothy 3 (KJV)
A few weeks ago, a pastor in Georgia had a letter read to the church he had planted five years ago. In it, that once-respected pastor confessed to a sexual affair with a staff member. His sin cost him his church and has placed his family in a position that many of the people we work with know far too well.
What happened? That man of God did not get up one day and say, "Think today's the day for me to have an affair." No, Satan is too slick to try that. He allowed this pastor to gradually move away from a life of personal holiness. Gradually, more and more things became acceptable to the pastor-until that Sunday when the bubble burst.
Last Sunday I witnessed a local church pastor, on a televised service arrive on the platform of his church by swinging in on a trapeze. That is enough to get anyone's attention, so I watched this man of God, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt give his morning talk, better known until recent years as a sermon.
The 21st Century church growth people are trying hard to convince us that the church has to be relevant, to reach this generation. Nevertheless, the Bible tells us the pastor holds an office, as described in I Timothy, Chapter 3.
That televised trapeze service was on a commercial station. As soon as the program ended, a commercial ran for a local Nissan dealership. The spokesman was dressed in a dark suit and dignified in his speech.
After the commercials and a station break, a second church service was televised, again with a jeans-wearing pastor sporting a torn T-shirt and with hair looking like he had just rolled out of bed.
The car salesman in between the two services was better dressed and used less slang than did either of the two pastors. If pastors have to be relevant to reach people, doesn't the car salesman also, or has the church permitted its pastor to just become sloppy? As an aside, the music in the commercial sounded more like what would be expected on Sunday morning than the music at either of those church services. That prospering car company had best get relevant if they want to reach the next generation.
The office of a pastor is ordained by God, but let's look at some other offices. When we visit our physician, we anticipate him dressing (and talking) like a professional. We are reassured by his professional demeanor. That is almost part of the healing process.
Can you imagine walking into a courtroom and standing before a judge or magistrate wearing a T-shirt and sporting rumpled hair. Society would have little respect for the person holding that office.
Imagine going to the funeral service of a close family member and being greeted by a funeral director wearing shorts and sneakers and unkempt facial hair. Anyone in attendance would be offended.
When you turn on the television news, a well groomed anchor person will be giving reports on the activities of dignified statesmen on that day. No one is going to swing onto the television set on a trapeze, nor make a concentrated effort to talk like a gang member.
Speaking of statesmen, why do men and women in Washington get all dressed up every day? They would be more like us if they would kick back and be relevant. If so, dressing and grooming like a homeless person would be a sure way to get elected.
There is a traditional photo of the Supreme Court Justices sitting grouped together, but why do they still wear those black robes. Shouldn't those seven very old people better worry about being relevant to modern society?
Consider professional baseball teams. Players arrive in casual clothes, go into locker rooms and put on uniforms. Can fans really relate to uniformed player? They certainly can, because many fans arrive wearing jerseys from their favorite players. They are dressing like their role models.
To each of us who claim the name Christian, the pastor is our role model. Not only do we look up to him, the person who leads the local church and opens the Word of God to us each week is our example. Relevant or not, very few people will ever surpass their pastoral role model in dress, in talk, in behavior, in actions, nor in values.
A prodigal spouse also needs a role model. That person must be their one-flesh wife or husband. Having been a prodigal, I can assure you that we look at our mates who claim they are standing and praying, trusting God to heal their marriage.
I did not come home because my wife could relate to my sin. Charlyne was not out doing what I was doing so that I could relate to her. I came home, foremost, because God touched me. Not far behind that, I came home to the wife who had become my role model.
Charlyne had become the odd duck in her circle of influence, but she won a spot in my heart as the top chick. No one could understand why she would not be with men alone, nor why every day she was at the top of her game, spiritually and physically, always prepared for my return home. My wife was not relevant, but she was 100% ready for my return every day, once God had touched and changed her.
May I ask you a question? Are you relevant or are you ready? Are you on the edge of forgetting the spouse who has forsaken you, or are you 100% ready for a glorious homecoming? During our divorced days, my wife both told me and demonstrated that I was welcomed home at in time and in any condition.
I knew that there was nothing in my wife's life that would have to change before I came home. Regardless of when her miracle happened, there would be no coffee meetings with men to cancel, no letters to throw out, no books and magazines to hide. Charlyne did not have a singles wardrobe and a married wardrobe to swap out.
On the morning of July 7, 1987 my wife got our three kids set for the day and left our home a brokenhearted but serious stander. Eight hours later, she came home a remarried woman, with her husband right behind her. There was no time for change. To this day, Charlyne remains my favorite stander, and yes, she is still standing for, forgiving, and praying for all of our family.
If my wife were writing this, she would say "Be like Jesus and not like me." While I agree, you would not do bad in following Charlyne's example of holiness living.
What does holiness mean? It is defined as, "to set apart for the worship or service of God." That is where my wife is today, and that is exactly where both she and I desire for you to be." As an old hymn says, "To be like Jesus."
Even if your pastor parachutes in Sunday Morning wearing a bathing suit, be ye holy. Even if that available millionaire in the church invites you on a date, be ye holy. Your subtle message of holiness from the pew just may soon be louder spiritually and morally than the message from the pulpit.
I can assure you that we prodigals sit up and take notice when the spouse we discarded starts living a holy and consistent life. No announcement needs to be made, but God always has His ways to inform a prodigal of their mate's changed life.
For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit. I Thessalonians 4:7-8
Be ye holy.
