Bob & Charlyne's Blog - from the heart of a restored marriage

Have you heard about the youngster who wanted a chimp for Christmas?  Year after year he begged and pleaded with his parents to get him a chimp.  Finally this Christmas they gave him the chimp that he had wanted so badly.  In less than a week, everything changed. He now wants to send his chimp back to where it came from.  What happened?  In all those years of pleading for a chimp, he never learned what it would be like to actually own a chimp. He never bothered learning what having a chimp would entail. He only thought about all the fun they would have together.  The excitement of getting a chimp quickly turned into work needed every day to maintain a healthy chimp.

Sad, but this is what happens to good standers time and again. God gives them the "chimp," or "Christ Has Ignited My Prodigal" they had long sought, as He sent one more prodigal toward their family.  Day after day we hear from good standers whose prodigal spouse is in the final approach toward home, and they are asking, "What do I do now?"  Like the kid with the chimp, the time to learn what to do next is before your prayer is answered.

I do not want this to become a commercial for material, so no resources will even be mentioned, but there are helps available.  The only way you will be successful in your restored marriage is to plan and prepare now, ahead of time, with God's help, not to
fail.

Even though your prodigal may be acting like quite a "monkey" right now, your "CHIMP" is on the way, so in 2010 let's get you seriously ready for marriage restoration.

I was awakened just now at 3:00 AM by the distinctive noise of a police helicopter circling our neighborhood. That hovering has always means a crime has been committed nearby. As frightening as that thought is, and knowing that a bad guy is on the run near us, there is something reassuring about the chopper noise and the bright floodlight from it that sweeps every corner of our yard and the yards of our neighbors.

I can only imagine if I were still an absent prodigal and my sleeping wife or any of our female standers who are alone would be awakened by the drone of a helicopter. Many would hurry to see that the doors of their homes were securely locked.

This same scenario, in a slightly different way is taking place at every home around the world right now and every hour of every day. The evil one, Satan, is committing his destructive acts as he attempts to bring down every marriage. What are many spouses doing about this? They are opening doors to allow the enemy in, without realizing what harm they are exposing their family to.

I know, because this is what happened to our family years ago. Sneak in a video to watch while Charlyne was at work, or a one-time fling, who would ever know? It won't hurt anyone-or would it? One night out with the guys to another part of town? It is what every guy is doing. I did not know the evil one was on the prowl, looking for a way to get into our family, and I was opening the door to him each time an immoral act was committed.

The people who study crime tell us that criminal acts are progressive. Minor crimes result is more severe crimes being committed, until the person becomes a career criminal. The same is true of sin. All the time, our Lord God is shining His illumination on our family in an attempt to rout out sins of destruction. A person who becomes a prodigal is one who has been operating in the shadows, attempting to avoid God's revealing Light.

Family restoration takes place after a prodigal who has been running from God surrenders and confesses. He or she must repent, or turn away, from what they have been doing. God's rehabilitation rate is 100% when a prodigal is sincere. Be warned that the prodigal may return home in an attempt to hide from God's light, but when people are praying, even then God's conviction becomes more intense, until the prodigal repents.

The helicopter noise overhead and the spotlights are gone. Hopefully the evil one stalking our streets has been captured and bound. Charlyne and I know the evil one now, and recognize his attempts to destroy all our families. When he appears, we now call on our Protector, our Lord God.

I feel secure and am going back to sleep.

This afternoon Charlyne and I had an opportunity to witness in action the Christmas benevolence work of another Christian organization. Those caring people had chosen to help one family in need. Leaders of that organization had taken a large basket and the people involved in that ministry had filled it with cash and donated gift cards. The basket was then sealed with cellophane and a bow. When finished, it was an impressive sight.

This is not about helping a ministry, but about a ministry helping others. (If you want to read about helping a ministry, I will be glad to oblige, but not here.)

Many times when a love offering is taken for someone, people sanitize the results by depositing the money and handing a check to the recipient. At the very least, currency is straightened and arranged by denomination, but that was not the case with what we saw today. It was strictly what they gave is what you get, and the results were impacting.

Christmas is a tine for giving, but too often it becomes about giving to me, instead of giving by me.

I looked at a photo of that benevolence basket and wondered about each bill. Were the twenty dollar bills, creased in the center placed there by an executive with bills to spare, or did some of them represent sacrificial giving by one struggling family wanting to help another struggling family? Did some of the crumpled dollar bills come from deep within a youngster's pocket, where they were being saved for something special? I wondered which bills had been dropped in by a teen, instead of going toward their first car?

Had something in the basket been dropped there by a couple, after praying about what to give, and the Holy Spirit giving each spouse an identical amount? I wondered which bills were the widow's mite and had come from a cashed Social Security check?

Most likely a few of the bills had been given out of guilt. God is honored when we give, but there has never been enough money printed to pay the price for one sin. That is why God gave His son. If our Heavenly Father gave, should we not do likewise.

What have you given this Christmas? No, not what checks have you written, but what cash have you given directly to help someone else? It is not too late and people who could use your help are all around you.

If you have read any of my books about travel, you know how I like to take extra five dollar bills with me. I encourage you to try this during Christmas week. Be on the lookout for the person putting a dollar's worth of gas in their vehicle. You may see someone putting items back when checking out at the grocery, or asking about fast food prices and then declining an item. Do you realize what a difference your dollars could make, given with a comment such as, "God told me to give you this." One day when we all reach Heaven, we might be hearing about money we dropped into a basket or handed to a stranger.

God owns all the money, but he has entrusted a bit of it to each of us. Together let's use it for His glory by directly helping others at Christmas.

Charlyne and I had a quick medical appointment Tuesday afternoon, not far away. We also had supplies being delivered to our home Tuesday afternoon. We trusted God to work out the timing on both. His split-second results were far beyond what we could have ever expected.

Coming home, we pulled up to a four-way stop two blocks from our house. Just as we did, the delivery truck approached the intersection at right angles to us, fell in behind our van and followed us to our front door. That was good timing, but the best is yet to come.

Charlyne has a "God Heals Hurting Marriages" bumper sticker on the back of her van. The delivery driver took notice of that sticker, and as soon as both of our vehicles stopped rolling the delivery driver asked, "Are you a marriage ministry?" What happened next needs to be confidential, but I can say that she not only delivered to us but also left with an arm full of material.

Just think about it. If that truck had arrived at the four way stop a second earlier, or if we had arrived a second later, we would have been following the truck and the bumper sticker would have gone unseen. God's timing is perfect. Out of all of Tuesday afternoon, no doubt the Lord had placed hindrances and helps in both our lives and the life of that delivery person to stack vehicles at an intersection as He did.

Before this day is over someone will be asking about their mate's free will. Certainly we all have a free will. We often take a different route home, or we could have stopped by the Ministry office, since it was nearby. That was our free will, but God's will was that things end up at that intersection just as they did.

Please remember, God's will is always greater than our won't. Regardless of what your spouse may be saying or doing today, God's will is silently running in the background. In the end, the glory will all be His.

Several years ago one of the doctors my wife worked for gave her a personal Christmas bonus. We used the money to purchase a large illuminated outdoor Nativity set for our front yard. Each year, on Thanksgiving weekend, with our children (and now with grandchildren helping) we set up the Nativity scene.

Sitting here in 83 degree Fort Lauderdale, I am encouraged by snow. Well, not by snow but by the people who move the stuff around. Please let me explain.

On this Wednesday afternoon we received two testimonies along the same line. One was from Nebraska and the other from Wisconsin. In the first, the female stander with a shovel tackled five foot driveway snowdrifts and wind chill temps fifteen below. God sent several neighbors with snow blowers to finish the job in 20 minutes

The second testimony came from Wisconsin, where another female stander had been shoveling her driveway alone for over two hours. She was exhausted and cried out to God for His help. A pastor, visiting family in her area, came by and completed her job.

Both ladies had called on God this morning, and even though several states apart, God met both of the needs. Both women were praising God for what He had done.

Both were win-win situations. Two ladies, alone for this season, had their needs met, and several people, including a pastor, no doubt are feeling good tonight for what they did this morning.

What would the Good Samaritan had done if things had been different and there had been snow on that road from Jerusalem to Jericho? Based on what Jesus taught, I suspect the Good Samaritan, would have had his snow shovel ready to help.

Down our way we are more like to find someone stuck in the sand than stranded by the snow, but God gives each of us ways to share His love. Today's snow stories are my reminders to not cross to the other side of the road when I encounter someone with a need.