But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25
Do you walk and live a life of self-control? In our ministry we talk about controlling your tongue and words that you should or should not say. Words spoken can be positive or negative. How many times have you been wounded by words that your spouse has spoken to you? How many teens or adults have been emotionally wounded by words that their parents have said to them, even many years ago? “You are stupid, or you will never amount to anything or you are not as pretty as your sister or your brother has all the brains.”
Have you learned to have self-control over your tongue so that you will never hurt or wound someone else? If you have said things that are wrong, confess and repent to your Lord, and then try to rectify what you have said to that person. Wait and see all that the Lord can do in your own personal life by you saying, “I am sorry. I did not realize the hurt and pain my words caused. I did not mean to say what I said.” Then learn the secret by asking the Holy Spirit to crucify your sinful nature and empower you with self-control.
I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence.” Psalm 39:1
If you are a victim of verbal abuse, please forgive the other person so you personally can be touched and healed of all that wounding that you have had as a child or as an adult. Your Lord God is the great Healer. Let Him pour the Balm of Gilead on you. The person who has spoken all the negative words in your life may never know the wounding that it has done to you or to your children. You need to pray that your spouse will ask Jesus Christ to become their Savior and Lord of their life so that they can live a life of self-control!
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. Proverbs 25:28
What is the meaning of self-control? The Nelson’s Three-In-One Bible Reference Companion explains self-control as, Restraint or discipline exercised over one’s behavior.
Do you see how important self-control is to you personally, to your spouse and to your loved ones? Just imagine if you and your spouse lived a life of self-control in your marriage. The war of words and quarreling could just about stop! Do not think arguing is normal or healthy. Start praying and thinking personally of areas that you have self-control in and areas that you do not have self-control in such as: temper, eating, smoking, impulse buying, sharp tongue, gossiping or fleshly lusts.
Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 1 Peter 2:11
We know of so many spouses who are living away from home just because of their lack of self-control in their sexual sins. But our Lord God has given each of us the power to be able to have self-control. If you have Jesus Christ living in your heart, you also have the Holy Spirit inside you, who will empower you to be able to crucify your sinful nature. Never forget our Lord has given us everything we need to live a victorious Christian life by the power of the Holy Spirit. Never forget that the Holy Spirit is the secret to you living a life of self-control. Let us pray that your beloved spouse will learn this truth now, in the Name of Jesus.
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 2 Peter 1:3-9
Jesus Christ is all we need in our lives. Your whole life will be changed and people will notice the difference. That is what your beloved spouse does not understand and was tempted by the enemy’s lies, deception and then blinded by the enemy to God’s truths. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6)
If you accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and never grow spiritually, you will go back to your old lifestyle and habits, living a life of sin and defeat. You and I must strive to live a Christian life with a pure heart.
Paul wrote to Titus reminding him to teach the people of their proper role in the church and in their personal lives. Be challenged by Paul’s goals of living a Christ-like life and notice how important self-control is for everyone:
Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good….It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Titus 2:2-7, 12- 13
Here again we read the secret to having self-control in our lives; Saying No to sin. The Word of God is so very powerful. Jesus spoke scriptures from the Word of God and Satan had to flee from him. (Matthew 4:1-11) We need to learn to do likewise, by choosing our words wisely.
Will you claim or speak out loud the scripture below for your beloved spouse who has fallen into Satan’s trap? Are you discouraged, depressed or under spiritual attack? Speak out loud God’s Word and Satan will have to flee from you!
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:8-9
Unless otherwise noted, scripture quoted are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.