Much of what we do through Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc. is measured against how it would have affected me when Bob and I were divorced, and then after we remarried.
We receive many notices of spouses coming home each week. From that joyful date, it is going to take the couple about two years to heal the hurts, forget that other person, and to reconcile. Only then will they be ready to help other couples. We will never knowingly harm a struggling couple by publishing a premature restoration report. We hear of too many prodigals who leave again, because too much was being said.
These pages are not intended to be a report of all Rejoice restored marriages. Neither are they trophies for this Ministry. They are published to give you hope and encouragement.
Barren For 10 Years!
Eight days after our 10th wedding anniversary, my husband asked for a divorce. I was devastated, but it took this to utterly break me before God. That night, I didn’t go to sleep, but the Lord led me to scripture after scripture. I finally fell to my knees before my own sin. I couldn’t look away, blame, or give excuse for all the selfishness, pride, disrespect, disobedience, and rebellion that I had lived in for all 10 years of our marriage. Instead of feeling anger or betrayal toward my husband, I saw exactly the unlovable person I had been asking him to love all these years and I understood. The Lord changed me that night. I didn’t become a different person overnight, but each day God would strip away another layer. Immediately, He led me to a group of women who were standing for their marriages! They led me to Rejoice Marriage Ministries where I learned that I was a “stander,” and my husband was a “prodigal” (Luke 15). I loved that! It was so apt.
I believed my husband when he said there wasn’t another woman, but the Lord was preparing me for a different story. After a month of standing, the Lord was asking me if I would stand, even in infidelity. See, God knew the hardness of my heart. If I had initially known my husband had found someone else, I would have never been broken. I would have raged against my husband and would have felt justified as I took everything he had. But then, I would have never stood in the gap for my husband’s soul. Now, I know that everyone around me knew about the other woman, but they wouldn’t tell me. That was God. It took His work in me and gentle nudges to show me what His marriage covenant really means. As you know, the covenant made before God has no stipulations. I did not vow to love until my husband cheated. I did not accept a ring only until my husband’s love disappeared. I vowed until death, and God was holding me to that vow. It didn’t matter that it was the worst day of my life when my husband finally told me about the other woman. The next day wasn’t much better. I helped my husband move out, believing that God would bring him back. All of this, my husband knew, but he wouldn’t “come to his senses” for a while yet.
I was commanded by God to do four things:
1. To Stand: When I was so overwhelmed with how determined my husband was in pursuing this divorce, I told God that I didn’t want to fight this battle and I didn’t want to have to try and find a Christian lawyer to defend my stand. God spoke 2 Chronicles 20 to me and let me know quickly that I wouldn’t have to find a lawyer, nor would I have to fight this battle. It was HIS battle, and He was going to win it for me!
2. To Wait: I thought this meant that I would have to wait for my husband to come home, but God said I was to wait on Him and the work He was going to do in our lives.
3. To Be Silent: Whew! If you only knew me, you’d know how nearly impossible this is! But God was working and nothing is impossible for Him (Luke 1:37). I tried so many times to reason with my husband and point out what God was showing me, but it wasn’t my place and it only hardened my husband’s heart toward me. Through this, God showed me that I am nobody’s Holy Spirit. I can’t convict, and I can’t change a person’s mind. That is God’s job, but He showed me that what He does lasts forever, so I’m glad I can’t change anyone…it wouldn’t last. God told me that no man could change my husband. He was the only one who could change my husband and I needed to let Him work!
4. To Be Still: This was the hardest command. As my husband progressed in the Far Country, I saw the state of his soul. I couldn’t believe a born-again believer could believe the lies Satan was telling him. Satan takes the Word of God and twists it to fit what the flesh wants, which Charlyne taught me only leads to doing the will of Satan (2 Timothy 2:26). My husband was trying to find biblical justification for all of his actions and what his flesh wanted. Obviously, he couldn’t but he gave it his best effort. Needless to say, and he finally admitted it after he came home, he was miserable out in the Far Country, even though he told me then how “peaceful” he was! (Standers don’t believe anything your prodigal says!) There were many days I would lie on the floor in our home begging God to release me from this stand. I didn’t want my husband anymore after seeing where Satan had taken him. I didn’t want a man who would cheat on me. I didn’t want any of this! But God would let me rant and rave, then remind me of all the promises He’d given me and remind me that this path, though excruciating, was His best for me. Daily, I had to surrender my will to Him, believing He knows what is best.
My husband works offshore. He sent me an email saying he was coming home in a few weeks when he came back in town. He told me he believed God had finally answered him. He sent an email to the other woman ending their relationship. I was amazed! The Holy Spirit told me to rejoice. Ah, but Satan wasn’t done yet! A few days later, I discovered that my husband was still talking to the other woman and was beginning to doubt coming home. As the days drew closer, my husband was determined that he wasn’t coming home and told me he may never come back. I was prepared for false starts thanks to your ministry, but the Lord reminded me that He had told me to rejoice. So instead of me telling everyone that my husband wasn’t coming home after all, I would say, “He says he’s not coming home…” Our God has a bigger plan, and thankfully, He’s greater than man (Job 33:12).
I invited my husband to our house for dinner the night he came in from offshore. Although he resisted, he finally agreed to come. I had a vision to run to him when he came home, just as the father did for the prodigal. When my husband pulled in, he parked in the back of our yard. I ran across our yard in my bare feet smiling the whole way. When I got to him, I jumped into his arms and bear hugged him. He was laughing and smiling. He now says that when he saw me do that he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave! That night he kept trying to leave, but God wouldn’t let him. I told him that I understood if he couldn’t stay…I knew God would bring him home! Finally, after watching him wrestle to the point of exhaustion, he started drifting off to sleep on the couch. I told him to come to bed, but he said he had to do something first. He went out to his truck where he left his cell phone and texted the other woman that he was staying home. Now I understand the struggle; she had told him that if he ever came back home, they were over. My husband told me that was the first night of sound sleep he had through all of this!
I have to admit, the restoration of our marriage has often been more difficult than the standing. God has reminded me that He is still working on the other side of that mountain, and He’s not done yet. I want to encourage other standers that God doesn’t work the way we think or expect. His ways are higher than our ways and our thoughts are not His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). The Lord has been revealing His truth in doses to my husband. I’m still learning to obey those four things God commanded me. Just because my husband is home and our marriage is better than it has ever been, it doesn’t change where we’ve been and who we are to become. I will forever be a stander for my husband and our marriage.
God gave me a lot of promises while my husband was in the far country and I look forward to God fulfilling every single one of them. The first promise He answered is the return of my husband. The second promise was recently confirmed. For 10 years I have been barren. We are pregnant with our first child! Standing and restoration have been hard, but I still believe my God is greater and He knows what’s best! “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!” Luke 1:45(posted 10/8/2012)
“Thank You Lord, Thank You Jesus. My husband has stopped the divorce. If it were not for RMM, teaching me about standing and praying for my marriage and my husband; sending me emails constantly, helping me believe and have faith in God that He will restore my marriage, I would have given up months ago. With God anything is possible. My situation was so hopeless, I didn't foresee this happy day. God is the creator of all miracles, Praise His name. Don't despair fellow standers, keep praying. Listen, God speaks to us all the time. God does answer. My faith is renewed. Amen.” (South Africa)(posted 11/18/2013)
"My husband and I spoke on the phone today after years of being separated. He wants to reconcile. After years of drugs, abuse and so many issues. I was able to share with him a promise God had given us years ago. When I finished we were both in tears." (California)(posted 10/3/2008)
"I thank God for deliverance, healing, love restored, joy, respect, peace and God in my marriage in Jesus name. I thank God for bringing my husband back home. The only person who is mad is Satan." (New York)(posted 8/24/2007)
"Praise the Lord, we just celebrated our second anniversary of a marriage restored. God is faithful. Thank you, Jesus for carrying me through and calling me to this situation. Nothing is impossible for the Lord." (Minnesota)(posted 5/7/2010)
"My husband has been home for a few months. God has blessed my family and bringing my husband and I into unity. We have been working on our marriage. He was home for Christmas. I am thankful to God for not letting me give up on my marriage." (Oklahoma)(posted 1/16/2009)
"I want to thank the Lord and praise His Name because He has restored my marriage and given back everything that the enemy has tried to steal." (Texas)(posted 10/4/2007)
“PTL, we serve an awesome God. My husband came home suddenly. He called and said that he was having problems with the OW and he admits he made a very big mistake by getting into a relationship. He confessed his faults and asked to come back to his family whom he missed deeply. Charlyne, you are so right; our miracles do come suddenly. One victory God fulfilled as He promised. Now I am praying for my husband's salvation that will be sure to come suddenly, too. Thank You God; You are faithful to Your promises.” (Canada)(posted 9/30/2012)
"Last Friday, my (ex)wife asked me, 'Will you marry me again?' She has been in the far country for years. Our grown children had been devastated by Satan's attack, but my 'ex' will be my wife again in ten days. Our children are going to give her away." (Virginia)(posted 6/9/2006)
“My husband and I have been together for a year and a half after a three year separation. Our youngest daughter is now living with us. Every day things are getting better. My husband's boss just announced he was moving his location to the very area where most of our children and grandchildren live. This is a huge answer to prayer as we live far from them at the moment. God is restoring across the generations! Praise His Holy Name!” (Canada)(posted 11/18/2013)
“I had an affair of three months, got pregnant and my husband divorced me. At first he wanted to work things out with me and even raise the baby. I was selfish and made bad choices and chose the wrong path for a short time. We were apart for some time and I was getting my life back on track with God. The Lord has healed and forgiven my sins. Thanks to Him, my husband and I are remarried. He is amazing and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Never give up!” (USA)(posted 12/7/2012)
"I finally started seeking God's face for the problems in my marriage and I am so thankful to Him that last year my husband came home very suddenly. God has done an awesome work in our marriage. It has been a long road, but it has been a wonderful one. I was saved in March and my husband was just saved in October. God has done things I could not imagine and put such strong feelings between my husband and I. Never give up on your marriage. My favorite scripture, is 'The Lord will fight for you, you must be quiet.' Exodus 14:14" (Kentucky)(posted 11/17/2006)
“My wife left me years ago. We reconciled after a few months only to separate again and eventually divorce. Although I was led to RMM through a friend's bumper-sticker and began to stand, it seemed that each month we were more and more alienated from each other. When things were at their worst, communication sad and hurtful, the kids aching and life very hard, God quite suddenly reversed the downward spiral. He (and He alone!) began to soften first my heart, then my wife's. He allowed opportunities for me to show my love to her again. And He started a process where each month we began to fall in love more and more all over again. Praise to His precious Name and Glory, we were remarried this past summer and are still growing in His love. HE is doing this restoration, and it is clearly HIS plan. In fact, He has used these past years to teach me so much and open His Word to my heart. I can thank Him for these trials, even though the hard times are so hard, His love and plan never failed.” (Oregon)(posted 2/11/2014)
My husband came home seven months ago. He was in a non-covenant relationship. God revealed to me that He would force him home. That’s just what happened when the other woman threw him out. God is still working on healing our marriage, but He has promised me that my husband is home to stay. I am believing that God will heal and make this marriage better that I can imagine. God does heal hurting marriages. I praise and thank him for all He has done, and is still doing." (California)(posted 11/23/2006)
“After many, many years of standing, my prodigal’s heart is back home. Only God can do this as you pray His will be done. We celebrated our wedding anniversary together on Valentine’s Day, after many years of not being together We are working on reconciliation now. Forgiveness is the key.” (Florida)(posted 2/24/2013)
“I am praising God today and every day. My husband and I were remarried Tuesday after five years of separation and divorce. Though my stand was very hard, God never let me give up even when I begged Him. I thank Him that He didn't allow it. Thank you also Bob and Charlyne for your support and prayers.” (Mississippi)(posted 8/31/2012)
“I wanted to follow up on our restored marriage. It's been two months since my spouse has returned and I continue to stand and praise God. I have a blessing that my spouse has accepted Christ back into her life and understands the spiritual warfare that was bound to come. And it has. But by keeping our eyes up and not out and focused on Him, we press on. We're happier than we were before and are growing daily through the trials. Keep in mind that the standing does not stop once your spouse returns. It intensifies and the enemy does everything in every fashion to try and break it again. Trust in God. He is faithful and continues to pull us through all of the trials. We're praying together for all standers and prodigals to grow close to God or turn their hearts to Him...soon.” (Kansas)(posted 12/16/2013)
"Three weeks ago my wife came back. Before that I started loving her unconditionally through God's grace and prompting. The relationship went from one where my wife refused to speak or communicate with me, to a point where she started coming by the house daily. Thursday before she came back, God sent me to I0saiah 7:7-9. Charlyne's topic that day was 'What To Do When Your Spouse Comes Back.' Friday God sent signs telling me my wife was coming back. On Saturday my wife came back. What God started He will finish." (California)(posted 10/31/2008)
"Praise The Lord, my wife dropped the action for divorce and now is ready for me to come home. Only He can work this type of miracle. My spouse has been going to church with me and the reconciliation and restoration happened quickly. How great God is and how wonderful to let Him lead me." (New York)(posted 9/25/2009)
"My husband moved out months ago, leaving me and our children devastated. Praise the Lord, last week my husband announced that he was coming home. I continue to stand for full healing and restoration of our marriage. If God can bring him back this far, He can completely heal our marriage. I give thanks and praise to a great and awesome God." (Canada)(posted 6/9/2006)
"I sought the Lord and He heard my cries. My husband returned to our family after being gone for months and living with the other woman. I give all the praise and glory to Jesus who does answer prayer." (Texas)(posted 9/12/2008)
"It took a while, standing on God's promise and going through a divorce that just truly sucked the life out of me, but I stood on Hebrews 11:1; 'Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.' I prayed day and night, and finally God found the perfect time. My wife is coming home this weekend to stay, and yes, a marriage will be coming soon. Praise God for all His mercy." (Louisiana)(posted 8/11/2007)
"My husband came home, thanks to many prayers. I, as well as others, had prayed for the Lord to send someone to speak with my husband and the Lord used several. One of my prayers has been for us to worship together again. When he returned to church with me, the front of the bulletin had a picture of a married couple with a scripture from Psalms." (Georgia)(posted 7/10/2009)
“My husband and I were separated for a number of months. The situation appeared hopeless. One day I stumbled upon this ministry and felt the Lord leading me to stand for my marriage. I wasn't even sure what that meant, but I surrendered my life completely to the Lord. He led me and embraced me through every tearful, lonely night. My husband told me when he left that he wasn't coming back, but I knew the Lord would restore what we had lost. He did that and more. It has been nearly two years since my husband has come back home. Our marriage is stronger than ever. Believe what the Lord has promised, and consider that He is moving even when our eyes fail to see it. The separation was awful, but God used it for our good, to fix what we couldn't. What He did for us, He will do for you. Bless the Lord!” (Texas)(posted 4/15/2013)
“After being separated for several months, my husband moved home suddenly this weekend. Praise God!!! He does answer prayer. My husband said that the reason he came home was: 1.He saw changes in me that he wanted to be around. 2.He said he had heard the voice of God the last two months telling him to GO HOME. Praise God! The struggle has not stopped because my husband is home. If anything, I must keep up the intensity of my prayer time! Hold on; keep praying and fasting, and believing!” (Louisiana)(posted 8/30/2012)
"After years of standing, the Lord has won this battle for me. My wife said that she thought I might like to take her out for a meal as she thought I might have a question to ask her. She wanted me to propose. We went ring shopping the next morning, found the perfect ring for her, and went out for a meal. I got down on one knee and proposed and she said yes. Praise the Lord. A wedding invitation will be in the post! All glory to God." (United Kingdom)(posted 4/4/2008)
“Praise God! my husband came home! God kept speaking to me for months telling me He would bring him home. a couple weeks ago a verse I never read before jumped off the page. Ezekiel 36:8 - ‘but you, O mountains of Israel, shall shoot forth your branches, and yield your fruit to my people Israel; for they will soon come home.’ And a few days later he was here with all his belongings. The only thing I want to do right now is give all the glory to my Lord. He truly did it!” (Illinois)(posted 8/30/2012)
"After many falls into the pit, my prodigal daughter has come home suddenly. The road she was on wounded her in many ways physically but I know my God has a road of recovery for her. Next will be her father. Thank You God for Your unique plan for healing and restoration." (Washington State)(posted 10/3/2008)
“Almost five years of separation, God has brought my husband home! He has been so faithful. I am so thankful for all that God has done in my own heart, in my family, in our marriage and in my husband’s heart. A few days prior to my spouse's return, God brought me to Isaiah 62:4. To all standers who want to give up, please don't. God's plan and purpose will prevail and you will be so blessed. You may not know it now, but your spouse is taking notice of all that you do and someday you will see the soft heart the Lord gives. Be blessed dear standers, fight the good fight for HE is faithful and He has called YOU!” (New York)(posted 7/21/2013)
“After almost two years of praying and standing, not giving up and keeping the faith, my husband has returned home. Please don’t give up on your spouses for any reason, I am a true witness. God Bless.” (North Carolina)(posted 3/25/2014)
“PTL God is good! My husband and I got remarried last Saturday. Don't give up, pray, cry, say, ‘Lord help me to keep the faith.’ God is on time. If He gave you what you wanted right now, you or your spouse might not be ready for it, so keep praying and let God do it in His timing. I love the Lord and thank Him for my restored marriage. This has been a long journey but with God it was all worth the wait. We are like one together. Thank You God, I owe You all the glory. Just know that God loves each of you and I will continue to pray for restored marriages. Amen.” (North Carolina)(posted 9/30/2013)
“I felt neglected and alone. I had an affair. My husband knew and two years after the fact couldn't take it anymore and began to act out himself. I was at a loss. I knew it wasn't him; it was pain and anger. I clearly heard God tell me to stand; that He would reach my husband and give me a marriage seven times better than we'd ever had before. I spent months of praying and loving him as he continued to act out. I hated what he was doing, but I knew it was Satan and I knew God had already defeated Satan. Thanksgiving Day he told me he loved me and put his wedding ring back on. Two weeks later he bought me a new ring and re-proposed. My suddenly came just in time! PTL!” (Indiana)(posted 12/31/2012)
“I am rejoicing! After a year of praying night and day, I finally had a breakthrough with my spouse today. Thank you, RMM for your prayers. I'm going to continue standing and praying for all of our marriages. God bless you!” (Arizona)(posted 9/30/2012)