I’ve Never Felt This Homesick Before

October 1, 2010

17 72“My frame was not hidden from you when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:15

If God is going to allow me the joy of witnessing the return of your prodigal, He had better move soon. Charlyne and I were stunned a few days ago to learn I have been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

These words are being written in a steno pad as I dictate them to an aide that is with me late at night in a darkened hospital room. Unless God intervenes I am going to see my grandson, Tyler, ( http://rejoiceministries.org/armsofjesus/  ) my parents and grandparents, Charlyne’s parents, scores of former Hospice patients that I dealt with in my career as a Hospice Chaplain, returned prodigals, standers and the prayer warriors who helped begin this ministry.

“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:20-23

A song by Dottie Rambo will explain where I am coming from tonight:

I’ve Never Been This Homesick Before –

There’s a light in the window, The table’s spread in splendor; Someone’s standing by the open door. I can see a crystal river, So I must be near forever; Lord, I’ve never been this homesick before.

Chorus: See the bright light shine! It’s just about hometime I can see my Father standing at the door. This world has been a wilderness, I’m ready for deliverance. Lord, I’ve never been this homesick before.

I can see the family gather, Sweet faces, there all familiar; But no one’s old or feeble anymore. Oh this lonesome heart is cryin’; Think I’ll spread my wings for flyin’. Lord, I’ve never felt this homesick before. Lord, I’ve never been this homesick before.

Written by Dottie Rambo Copyright 1977 New Spring. All Rights Reserved, Used by Permission CCLI # 1273562

As you can imagine, Charlyne has a lot to process during these upcoming days. I ask you to pray for my precious wife on this our 44th wedding anniversary. She will see many changes in the coming days. Thank you for your support of this ministry both yesterday, today and tomorrow.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” John 14:1-2

I want to share with you one example of the dying grace that God has given me today while I was being wheeled back to my room following a procedure. I have been in a private room because of an infection and our entire family has enjoyed the privacy that comes with this room. I was thinking, “what a great room we have.” Suddenly it hit me that Jesus and I are in that room together. I am not alone in this journey.

Has God failed either of us? Not at all. As my aide reminded me while working on this together, God never makes mistakes. Just as He is working in your marriage, God is still working in my life right now.

May God continue to bless each of us. I may soon be heading for streets of gold to live forever with my dearest friend, Jesus.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Bob Steinkamp