Has the Lord placed a devotional on your heart that you would like to share with other standers? Submit it by clicking here.
As I sit and really think about all that God has done for me in the past many months since my husband walked away from our marriage, there is no denying the power of our Lord. I just finished reading Charlyne’s devotional “Saul’s Life Was Transformed” and I remember all too well the pain that standers feel when they ask themselves, “How can I believe that God can change my spouse?”
At the beginning of my stand, I used to ask this every single day, multiple times a day. I was a doubting Thomas. I honestly wanted to believe the promises God gave me, but I wasn’t surrendering it all to Him, which hindered me from truly having faith.
Before Jesus found me, I was the type of girl who thought she knew it all. I was never wrong and I controlled everything around me because I assumed I was better at it than anyone else. I knew of religion, but I didn’t know of a relationship with Jesus Christ. This affected my self-esteem which then burned all the relationships around me, including my marriage.
I took my husband for granted because I thought he would never leave and he walked away to a woman who had greener grass. We are now legally divorced and they have a beautiful three-month-old baby girl, his first child. They are engaged and amid the bondages that Satan tricked us into, I felt like the other woman myself.
Recently, the Holy Spirit convicted me and reminded me that if I am going to stand and wait for my husband, I need to stand in a way that glorifies Him and does not embarrass Him. So we broke that chain, together. It felt like he left me all over again, but at the same time it was extremely liberating to make this decision. This is peace, something you ONLY feel when you are doing the right thing.
How can I believe that God can change my spouse? Because He has changed me so much, and continues to do mighty work within me. He opened my eyes to see myself clearly and others around me have seen the difference. Jesus loves me as I am but He also adores me so, that He wants me to be better and He doesn’t give up. He works and calls us until we listen.
Look in the mirror, did you ever think the person facing you could ever live and keep going after living through the things mentioned above? Neither could I! So have faith, friend. If He could change you and me, then He can and WILL change your prodigal. Stop looking for your miracle within your spouse in the far country and praise the Lord for the miracle He has done in you. Perhaps this is part of the plan, for you to open your eyes first and then He will rescue your spouse.
The journey is not easy, to say the least, but your pain and sorrow has a bigger purpose. I have learned that I am no longer standing in the gap for my marriage, but also those of my siblings, my parents, and others around me. Even though they think I am crazy, believe it or not, they are watching you, anticipating the same miracle you are waiting for because they too want confirmation of how great our Lord is. Others doubt, our spouses deny it, and we battle the daily fears that go along with this stand, but Jesus chose YOU, because He loves us so much.
Turn your tears into testimonies and your pain into God’s purpose and the rest, well, lay it at His feet because He is better at it than we could ever be.
I’m praying for you.
Yesi from Colorado
Unless otherwise noted, scripture quoted are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.