Friday, February 17, 2017


“Zip the Lips” has almost become Charlyne’s trademarked advice to standers. What are you speaking each day? Does your husband or wife just push your buttons to start screaming and make you sound like you are not even a Christian? Do you sound like you are praying for your spouse to come home? In this teaching, Charlyne shares about the words a stander needs to be using in their relationships with not only a spouse, but with others as well. Do you have trouble with your tongue? This teaching will really help you!
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My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  James 1:19-20
Lord, please erase my words that I have said in anger, in the wrong tone or with a critical tongue. Lord, forgive me. Help me not to react to my spouse’s or other people’s words of accusation or blame. Instead, may I pray for Your divine guidance and for You to empower me to control my wounded, hurting emotions and speak the words with love and with how You want me to answer. Lord, also show my spouse or children their own weaknesses in talking to me if they are not speaking respectfully or in love. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

How many times have you cried out to the Lord and prayed a prayer after a telephone conversation with your husband or wife ended abruptly, got totally out of control or your spouse walked out of the room or the door angry?

I do not think any one of us really truly understand how we sound when we get upset or have had a bad day and we often let it out on the ones we love the most. When the telephone rings and you see it is your spouse, do you say a prayer to guard your mouth that you do not lose control of your words or the tone of your voice? Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you how to answer your spouse so that the Lord will get the glory and your husband/wife can see a change in your words, actions and behavior regularly. You can personalize these scriptures in a prayer with your beloved spouse’s name or your children’s name in them.

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.  Proverbs 13:3

Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.  Psalm 141:3

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.  Proverbs 17:27-28

Many marriages struggle due to all the words that have been said in the heat of strife and anger. This week may you strive to start improving your communication skills.

Let me share these steps that may help you have better reactions to other people’s words or behavior:

  • Be quick to listen.
  • Slow to speak.
  • Slow to become angry.
  • Ask the Lord how to answer or how to react at that moment.
  • Stop the conversation, but agree to continue later when both parties have had a time apart to cool off and one can pray.

Imagine if all our family members, friends and co-workers would apply these principles to their own personal lives. What would happen in your own life at home or at work? Often your childhood experiences may determine how you talk or will react to controversy or strife. But, you do not have to live like your parents or grandparents lived all their lives. If you have children, you can teach them how to communicate properly and change the generational sin.

It doesn’t matter if you are a new Christian or have been a Christian for several years, you can change your words, your behavior and your countenance by the power of the Holy Spirit. You can also pray that the Lord will remove all generational sins such as divorce, anger, rage, abuse, alcohol, drugs or gambling by the Blood of your Lord Jesus Christ. Often these are being passed down from one generation to another.

You can ask the Lord to change your heart and your mind to act, react and live as Jesus would. I taught my children and now my grandchildren a saying, “What would Jesus do?” That will usually solve any outbursts or wanting to prove a point or win an argument.

Ask the Lord to remove the strife or anger from your home, He will give you many different ideas of how to make peace. May I remind you of a powerful truth: Never forget that the Holy Spirit will empower you by the Fruit of the Spirit which includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. If you start a fight or say wrong words or scream, say you are sorry immediately and ask for forgiveness from your spouse and especially from your children. Your spouse will hear or see the change in your words, behavior and tone of voice. Use peace and self-control every day in your life and marriage!

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.”  1 Peter 3:8-11

What a powerful passage that you need to apply to your Christian walk. When you put these scriptures into actions, you will be blessed mightily!

God bless,

Charlyne Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.

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