My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19-20
Do you have control over your tongue and speech? Do you have to have the last word in a discussion or in an argument? I used to feel like I just had to say one more sentence to try to prove or explain my point at that moment, when silence would have been much better. Can you relate?
He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. Proverbs 17:27-28 (NKJV)
Our Lord does have a sense of humor as for the past 27 years, I have been writing devotionals and teaching Bible studies about, “Zipping your lips!” I haven’t always taken my own advice.
Our words can get us in so much trouble, unless you have learned to watch what you say! How many words have you or your spouse said in a quarrel that you both regret? How many things have you said to your children that you regret and you have to go and apologize?
Do you and another friend start talking and it turns into a gossip session about someone else? We all need to think before we speak. In fact, we have heard many people say things that they should have never said. Everyone needs to watch what they say!
Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? James 3:5-11 (NKJV)
We all need to learn how to control our tongue. We need to learn that the enemy uses our tongue to keep strife going in a marriage relationship. Are some of your marriage problems caused by not knowing when to stop a conversation? Have you or your spouse lost control of your tongue and said things to each other that you never really meant and no one apologized and stopped the word fight?
I personally believe that many marriages are destroyed because of words that were said and an unwillingness to forgive. One disagreement, about nothing really important, started the tearing apart of their marriage by words that should have never been said in anger. Winning a fight or a disagreement does not mean that you have really won in the Lord’s eyes. Let me share some scriptures that we all must learn and remember about our tongue and quarreling:
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Proverbs 17:14
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:23-25
It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. Proverbs 20:3
Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. Proverbs 13:10
As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. Proverbs 26:21
Are you getting the message? We need to swallow a lot of our words and never even say them!
We need to be quick to forgive and quick to ask forgiveness when we say too much.
One of the most important lessons that my Lord taught me by reading and studying His Word is that I often need to be quiet! Silence is golden! That was not an easy lesson for me. I still pray that the Holy Spirit will speak to my spirit loudly when I need to become silent. It is so great when you do not have to apologize about saying things you should not have said!
I hope you are hearing my heart today. The world today says just about anything on television, movies or videos. We have lost all sensitivity to what we say. Children are now cursing at a younger age and many talk crude, yell at their parents and are rude to adults as they have been listening to their parents or others.
I pray that you will examine your heart and your family to see if you need to start changing the words that are being said at home. Do you need to talk to your children or grandchildren about their tongues? If your children are older, you may need to sit them down and tell them that you have made some mistakes, but you are going to try to change some bad habits and tell them what you want your home to be like. Yes, it will take time, but will be worth the effort.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you. Proverbs 4:24 (NKJV)
We can make a difference in our marriage with our words. Allow your Lord to start transforming you completely right now by touching your tongue and changing your speech. Do you need to zip your lips in your home?
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
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