I have been standing for my spouse a short time only, but it feels like decades. Not due to the time waiting, but due to what I have learned and heard from God. I once was a Christian and I was thirsty for God’s presence in my life, but I was young and didn’t realize how God forgives you if only you repent and start over again.
“All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” Acts 10:43
But I could not stand who I was being and I ended up giving up on God. As time passed by I went through depression I gained a lot of weight and I was home without going outside for many bitter years straight. But God used a situation to show me His love and I finally could breathe again. I got a job and started living, but still I thought that I was ok just being a “good person” (which is IMPOSSIBLE to be far from Him). I still felt empty and alone. My biggest dream was to have my family, ever since I was a teenager, and God gave me it. I was so worried but It was so natural to have her by my side. I still felt empty.
“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Mark 8:36
She is a Christian (although she is away but God never fails) and prayed so much that I could accept God’s will in my life. But I was blind and bitter, oh Lord how a regret it now, but God is PERFECT in His purposes and He NEVER fails. She prayed for months and used to invite me to go to the church and I used to say “no” every time. But then God’s time arrived in my life and my wife couldn’t handle that anymore and she fell in a Satan’s trap, adultery! I could see the pain on her face when I respected her decision and we got separated. That was when my eyes were opened and I could see what the devil wanted all along. I tried so hard to convince her to stay but with my own hands, which today I see I couldn’t do it alone.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5
She went to live with another man who was also married to another women. The first thing I thought was, “I’m going to die,” and my family thought I’d go into deep depression again. I wanted to ERASE her and move on … I wanted revenge and wanted to forget that I married her. But then, less than a week later, God started to call me but I would just say, “No, I’ll not pray for her, this is too much.” I had tried meeting with the pastor that married us, and he finally answered me, but only after she had left. I asked myself, “Why just now? Maybe God wants her far from me.” But I was so blinded by my selfishness that I couldn’t see what was happening.
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
I went to talk to the pastor but I thought, “What will I do there?” The conversation was normal and calm, but he told me something that set a small, very small, fire in my heart. He said, “Son, fight for her, don’t let Satan gets what is yours.” I had it in my head and started searching for marriage restoration that same week. Although I’m Brazilian I searched it in English and I found this website in the first try. I could see how God works in marriages around the world.
But my devotional is what the title says: God wants a position before Him from YOU. And today I understand why I was empty, why He allowed (for a short period of time) Satan to touch His treasure, which is marriage. He wanted me to wake up and see what my life was far from Him. I was miserable, dreamless, empty, rotten in my purposes. My wife had an in-home prodigal and prayed for months for me. She got tired of a husband who didn’t have dreams nor honored her as it should be and then she gave up. But God heard her and made me stand still for her and FOR LIFE! And God tells me, “My son, now it’s YOUR turn to stand for her. BE FIRM!.”
You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Malachi 2:14
God has spoken to me in ways I have never heard or seen before. I have gotten back to the Lord’s feet after almost 10 long years of emptiness and bitterness and mostly selfishness far from Him. God tells me that He will restore my marriage. All He wanted was my position, firm and still before Him. Oh how foolish I was. All I needed to do was go to God and He would show me why He wanted me close to Him.
To sum up, I want to leave here a scripture God gave me just yesterday when I was feeling alone and missed my beloved wife so much:
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15
I’m praying that you who are reading this, can accept God’s perfect will in your life. If you do so, then throw all doubts and the circumstances away, because in His PERFECT time, you will be honored for His glory.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this. Psalms 37:5
Thiago in Brazil
Unless otherwise noted, scripture quoted are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.