Even before my wife left, the Lord sent me to RMM. Like you, my world was crashing all around me. I couldn’t breathe or eat or think and I wanted desperately for it to be fixed. Your world may have crashed yesterday, last week or last month and now the Lord has sent you here too. In the beginning of my stand, I knew the Lord would restore our relationship. When I would read the Saturday testimonies or guest devotionals, I never wanted to hear all those “after several years” or “communication with my spouse is non-existent and they want nothing to do with me” testimonies. Now, here I am approaching my seventh year of standing, submitting a testimony I wouldn’t have wanted to hear.
Please don’t stop reading yet. The truth is, your marriage didn’t crash overnight. It most likely took a long time with a lot of baby steps toward the destruction. God can heal and fix anything, and has the power to do it suddenly. We read testimonies of suddenlies all the time. As you read His Word, and as you seek Him…God is going to draw you closer to Him than you have ever been before.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
As Charlyne would tell you, I encourage you to ask God what you are to do for the healing of your marriage. Don’t rely on what anyone else would tell you, as only God has the correct answers for your particular situation. Cry out to Him, and He will answer you. Don’t attempt to manipulate or control your circumstances, as that will only make things worse. Give your spouse to God, and let Him handle everything.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
One of the first steps to really trusting in the Lord, would be in the area of finances. If you have never heard of tithing, or have been reluctant in this area… I urge you to search the RMM website. Charlyne has a wonderful testimony as do many others. Putting God first, brings everything else in your life into order. If God isn’t first, nothing falls into proper order. Be faithful in your finances and you will be blessed.
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. Malachi 3:10
As you are hurting right now, be aware that the Lord will use you to comfort and pray for someone else going through what you have. Right this very second, you’re saying, “I don’t even know how I’m going to make it through the next hour of my life,” and I have been right there, where you are now. God will carry you through, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. It certainly doesn’t feel like it now, but you will see it come to pass!
…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:4
I myself, have personally seen two marriages that I was praying for restored; both of which, were “after” divorce. What the world called dead, God brought back to life. Just as Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, He is also able to bring your marriage back to life. All things are possible with God. John 11:40 and Matthew 19:26.
One final word of encouragement, and probably the worst “I don’t want to hear that.” You, me, all of us, have to trust God. Especially to the point of “even if He doesn’t.” We have all had circumstances (death in the family, job loss, you fill in the _____) that we were praying for a different outcome. We don’t understand why those prayers weren’t answered. My church just had a sermon on the subject and there is a wonderful guest devotional from 2014 in the RMM archives as well. Just know that God “IS’ God, whether you ever see your marriage restored or not. He loves you and has a perfect plan for you.
Still stand in faith, expecting to receive your marriage back. As mentioned earlier, my stand has been several years now. Every time I get discouraged, God will show me a sign, a vision, a song, something telling me to hold on. I am faithful that my restoration is coming soon….. but even if it doesn’t, God has brought me to a place of contentment with Him.
Whatever your current circumstances are, whether your spouse is leaving, has already left, or divorce has already taken place, I urge you to love your spouse, just as if nothing was wrong in your relationship. I have heard of people fighting over who gets the can opener! Whatever situation you’re in, if at all possible, react in love. This is the same spouse you would have laid your life down for, and given your “all” for their happiness. Just because they have abandoned us and hurt us, doesn’t give us the right to retaliate. We should show them unconditional love, just as God has shown us. Very hard to do, but if we turn over those offenses to Jesus…it becomes much easier.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Standing in faith and God’s best,
Mike in Oklahoma
As I say to every stander, “Be faithful, consistent, fervent in prayer, praying for all the prodigals’ hearts to be transformed, reading God’s Word daily, knowing the Lord hates divorce. He wants the best for you, your wife and children. Never doubt God’s timing is perfect! You stand firm, be steadfast in your faith, never forgetting all the promises of God that He has given you. Weary? Never forget that Satan wants you to quit! Can you imagine you and your wife’s testimony in the future?
Ask the Lord for a new word, dream, sign, vision, or song, etc. showing you are on the right road toward marriage restoration! Your suddenly will come and God will get all the glory! – Charlyne